Yesterday I had my glucose test. If you’ve never been pregnant, this means that you get to drink a bottle of a substance that tastes like Hawaiian Punch soda with too little soda water mixed in. It’s like syrup, and you MUST DRINK IT IN UNDER FIVE MINUTES. No sipping allowed.
And then, if that weren’t enough, you cannot drink or eat anything else until over an hour later, when a nice lady takes two vials of blood out of your arm. In between these two events, you must drive calmly to your doctor’s office while loads of sugar course through your veins and your mouth tastes like sugary cotton (not cotton candy. Sugary cotton.).
If you pass the test…congratulations! You probably won’t have gestational diabetes in your third trimester.
So, today, just to keep the trend going, I’m going to go get my free iced coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. Because the glucose test would be so much more exciting if they mixed a little caffeine in that bottle.