I ordered a few Christmas gifts from Despair, inc., and just received this email:

If you have received this email, it means that your credit
card information proved valid and that your order has
been sent. You might assume now that we have your money
that you’re in for better treatment. You might also assume
that if you try really hard, you will succeed. But your
assumptions would, in both cases, be completely wrong.
And that is why you REALLY need our products.

Regardless of those sad facts, we have some good news for
you. The Demotivators(R) Greatest Hits Notecard Pack is
currently available for purchase at a 20% discount through
the end of the year. That’s almost a significant enough
discount to constitute something slightly less than not
quite highway robbery… Why not take the chance to
prove to your friends, relatives and coworkers that you
cared enough to send the very worst – or that you didn’t
care at all – by dropping them a card!

You’ll be sorry you did, but nowhere near as sorry as
they will be.

As always, if you have questions, please fill out a
troubled ticket on the web at:

We’ll do our best to solve the problem, since, you know,
we already have your money.

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