Yesterday morning I was replanting some pots on our front step so it no longer resembled The Front Stoop Where Plants Go to Die and Then Their Corpses Burn Up in the Fiery, Hot, Hot, Southern, August Sun…
and since it was (as you may have gathered) hot, I was working quickly to get them
a. into the dirt so their little roots wouldn’t spontaneously combust
b. watered so they didn’t go into shock from all the hotness and all the moving. And all.
Quick! Get them in the pots. Quick! More dirt.
Wow, it’s hot out here and my sweat is running into my eyes.
Quick! Get the hose.
Oh, good, here we go and OH MY!! WHAT IS THAT HOT, HOT SENSATION ALL OVER THE LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY? IT’S WET AND HOT AND OH MYLANTA WHAT IS HAPPENING?!??!!?
Oh, the hose is hooked up to the sprinkler, which is sitting next to my left foot.
I wish I had taken a picture of myself when I came inside. I was a muddy, sweaty mess.
The children had a good laugh at my expense. That’s what I’m here for, kids.