This piece was originally posted on 12/16/06.
Maybe it’s because I just finished The Lord of the Rings, but I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days about weight…the weight of sin. There are some times in my life when I feel the weight of my sin more acutely than others, and these recent days have been like that. I am reminded of Frodo’s burden, how at times it seemed unbearable, yet it fell to him to continue to bear it. All he wanted was for his long journey to end — to finally be free of that heaviness, and yet the closer he came to journey’s end, the harder it became to approach it.
I remember a ladies’ Bible study that I attended once when we were discussing Heaven. Numerous women spoke about their desire to see Christ. An older woman spoke and said, “I know I’ll be excited to see Jesus, but I think the first thing I’ll think is, ‘No more sin!! Hooray!!’ ” I can relate to that…I can’t imagine the lightness that will come with that moment.
As Christians we either feed the flesh or feed the spirit. We cannot do both. Perhaps I’ve been feeding my flesh too much lately, and that’s why I feel the weight of it. How do I feed my flesh? By worrying about what people think…by busying myself with matters of the day to day instead of the eternal (this is easy in December!)….and the list goes on. It must be my business instead to discipline my thoughts and actions towards godliness. In those terms, it sounds like pure drugery, but in fact it is the most satisfying, and most “lightening” thing I could do.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling nature of this post. I awoke at 5:10 this morning and worried over trivial things for a good twenty minutes before getting up to take a deep breath and meditate on what’s important.