Tim Tebow, the Patriots, and Me

This upcoming weekend is referred to in our house as “Marital Discord Weekend, the Sequel.”  David is a lifelong Denver Broncos fan, and I am a lifelong New England Patriots fan.  In case you don’t follow the NFL, those two teams are playing this weekend, for the second time in two months.  In case you’ve been living under a rock, Tim Tebow, the most talked-about quarterback in the NFL in some time, plays for the Broncos.

After this past weekend’s overtime heroics, I had so many thoughts swirling around in my head that I decided to write you a list.  A list is the only way I can get out the randomness that currently exists in my brain about this topic.  Even if you don’t follow sports, keep reading, because I think you might enjoy my mental unloading.

  1. First I want to go on record as saying that I posted about Tim Tebow way back in January of 2007.  Here is your evidence (the link is now broken, and I can’t find the article).  Make sure you come here to keep your finger on the pulse of sports heroes.  Or not.
  2. Tim Tebow is a hero in our house because he conducts himself well on the field.  Not because he “Tebows”.  Not because he wins.  Because he obeys the rules and doesn’t act like a jerk.  More “Christian” athletes should take note.  (*coughcoughRODNEYHARRISONcoughcough*)
  3. That being said, sometimes — not every time — when Tebow throws the ball, I flinch.  It’s not pretty.  David tells me that footballs aren’t meant to be thrown left-handed.  I don’t get it.  Maybe it has something to with the rotation of the Earth.
  4. Now that I have said something negative about him, I will be branded by some as a “Tebow hater.” Dear Tebow lovers, it’s OK to like somebody and still remain objective about their performance.  Some of the footballs this guy throws look like wounded ducks.  I still would love to see him succeed.
  5. Now let’s talk about the game this past weekend.  The new overtime rules are in place: first team to score a touchdown wins.  
  6. It is always the right decision to root against the Pittsburgh Steelers.  They are second only to the Oakland Raiders in Teams Kelly Likes to See Lose.
  7. John Elway, my husband’s childhood (and young adult-hood) hero, is on the sidelines.  Elway has a nice history of fourth-quarter heroics.  David impulsively yells out, “GRAB A HELMET, JOHN!!!”.
  8. This is the difference between a Tebow fan and a Broncos fan.  Elway is a known quantity.  Tebow, not so much.
  9. Kelly doesn’t yell at John Elway, but instead opens up TweetDeck, her preferred Twitter application, and innocently types in the search term, “#TebowTime.”  This will be the last action she performs on said computer for about ten minutes.
  10. Tebow connects with Demaryius Thomas and everyone in our living room starts screaming.  This is the loudest it’s been since SuperBowl XLII when this happened:

    (by the way, did you catch Rodney Harrison’s exemplary behavior there?!)

  1. Maddie, having never seen her family behave in this way over a football game, screams right along with us and starts laughing so hard that she can’t stop.
  2. David yells, “I DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW.
  3. Kelly madly tries to get the computer to unlock.  Tebow and the Broncos victory set a new tweeting record for sports:  9,420 a second.
  4. Silence descends over the house as the realization dawns:  Broncos vs. Patriots.  Again.  Next weekend.
  5. The history of Marital Discord Weekend is a long and storied one: perhaps the most awkward rendition was  in 2006 when Champ Bailey picked off Tom Brady in the end zone and returned it 100 yards.  That entire game was spent in silence, except at that play, when a bizarre squawking sound emerged from my throat.
  6. I think David and I are more in unison going into this game than any other time.  We grasp the reality that the Patriots are the favored team.  Given a fourth-quarter deficit, you definitely want Brady over Tebow.  But we’d like to see Tebow perform well and not get humiliated.  And truth be told, I wouldn’t mind seeing the Broncos win.  I don’t think they will, though 😉
  7. My favorite tweets last time the Broncos played the Patriots were the ones about the quarterback matchup.  Sample some with me:
  • “Things are about to get real handsome, real quick.”
  • “Jesus vs. Captain America”
  • “David vs. Goliath.”
  • “The two most aesthetically pleasing quarterbacks in the NFL.”
  1. Yes, they are both handsome but they spend most of the time with giant round orbs on their heads so I don’t know what the fuss is about.  Just throw the ball.
In closing, I would like to say thanks for listening to my brain dump on this topic.  Enjoy the game.

5 thoughts on “Tim Tebow, the Patriots, and Me

  1. LOVE it, Kelly. We are having a ton of fun over here watching all of this, too. Sounds like Tebow has made the discord of Marital Discord Weekend a little less acrimonious this year 😉

    Like

  2. Hahahahaha! I laughed all the way through this- a wounded duck, Maddie laughing, a bizarre squawking sound. Hilarious. I agree with you as to why I root for Tebow. Have to say I will be rooting for the Bronco's on Saturday. Never have been a Patriots fan. 😉

    Like

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