Review: An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport

Since we just finished up football season on Sunday night, I thought this was as good a time as any to post this review of the book my husband put in my stocking at Christmas.

David gave me this book at Christmastime.  Actually, that is only true if you consider the week after Christmas to be “Christmastime.”  He bought it when he was returning a book I bought for him, which I gave him actually on the day called Christmas, along with the stocking stuffers I bought for him.  I still think he should have kept that book.  Oh well.

When he gave me this book during the week after Christmas, I ungratefully said, “oh, come on.  You bought this for yourself.”  He weakly replied, “No, honey, I started reading a bit in the store, and I think you’ll really like it.”  I appreciatively rolled my eyes.

To be fair, I have thought the author is funny when I’ve seen him on ESPN online, so OK.  I decided to give it a shot.

Two nights later, I was laying in bed reading and the bed was shaking because I was laughing so hard.  David was reading his other book that he bought instead of the book I bought him that he should have kept, and feeling quietly justified in buying this book for me.

To sum up:  Kenny Mayne is funny.

The book has illustrations drawn by his daughters, who have some understanding of sports, but not a lot.

He includes sad and thoughtful chapters about the death of his twin sons and people he grew up with.  This is a side of Kenny Mayne that I did not know existed.

But mostly it’s really, really funny.

If you’re not a sports fan, you may know Kenny Mayne from his ill-fated performance on “Dancing With the Stars.”  He recounts that experience in detail, including the following tidbit:

The night before our dance I attended maybe the greatest game in the history of college tackle football.  Texas beat USC on a last-minute touchdown by Vince Young. [Kelly’s commentary:  yes, that was the greatest game in college tackle football.]  I saw that part on TV.  I was sitting fifty-yard line for the greatest game anyone can remember but only for the first half.  I felt I needed to beat the traffic, get to my hotel, and be rested for my big dance performance. 

This was the worst decision in the history of sports.

So if you’re a sports fan, you should buy this book and read it.  If you’re not a sports fan but appreciate humorous writing, you should also read this book.  If you’re neither, you could read it and appreciate the hand-drawn pictures of flowers.

An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport

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