Maddie is not quite three and a half, but she is tall for her age.  By summer she will probably be in girls’ size 6 clothing.  But in her mind, she is still quite little.

Scene:  Morning, time for school to begin.
Mom:  OK everybody, let’s get in there for school.
Boys:  (collective groan)
Maddie:  Mom, I don’t wanna do school.  I’m toooo tiiiiinnnnyyyyy.

Scene:  Lunchtime at co-op.  Maddie is playing in the Cozy Coupe near the lunch tables.
Mom:  Maddie, it’s time for you to go to your class now!
Maddie begins trying to get out of the Cozy Coupe and finds that her long legs are difficult to maneuver out of the car.
Mom:  Looks like you’re getting too big for this car!
Maddie:  Mom!  I am not BIG!  I am TIIINNNNYYYYY!


Scene:  Day before field trip.  Mom is rallying all the children to get them good and excited.

Mom:  So tomorrow, we have our field trip to the FIRESTATION!
(Boys agreeably cheer)
Maddie, louder than everyone: OOOOOHHHH!  I HATE THAT PLACE!

As if she goes there all the time.

She’s three.  Definitely three.


Scene:  5:30 AM, November 1st.  Sleepy David rolling out of bed, Kelly stirring.

David:  I bet…I BET…there will be Christmas music on the radio on the way to work this morning.

Kelly:  Silence.  Rolls over.  In a moaning, tired voice:  “HE SAID I WANT TO BUY THESE SHOES…”

In case this makes no sense to you, you should know that “The Christmas Shoes,” while it is a sweet, sad song with lovely sentiment, is The Most Overplayed Christmas Song in the History of Christian Radio.  Here is the video in case you don’t know it.  I don’t know HOW you don’t know it, but maybe you live in an area of the country where DJs exercise moderation.

Overheard: Scholastic Edition

Scene:  Mom watching Andrew clean up after lunch.

Andrew, thoughtfully:  Mom, you know how there’s those things like A-plus and B-minus?
Mom: Grades?  Yes.
Andrew:  Well, how low can those things go?
Mom:  They go to an F.


Andrew:  Well, what if there was like a Z-minus?

Overheard – The Vulgarity Edition

Scene: Breakfast is concluding.  Jonathan pushes himself back in his chair and gets up.

Mom: OK, buddy, you done?
Jonathan:  Yes, I am the F word.

Momentary panic while Mom considers what word this could possibly be.

Mom:  Oh…you’re…full? (hoping, hoping)
Jonathan:  Yes, I am so full!


Scene: Quiet conversation between Mom and Jonathan before Jonathan goes to sleep in his hospital bed.

Mom, explaining more about his surgery:  …so, the doctors had to take out your appendix because it was broken.  And then they cleaned out all the germs.  And you’ll take some medicine for a little while to make sure all the germs are gone.

Jonathan:  What about a new appendix?

Mom:  You want a new appendix?  Well, you don’t really need an appendix, so I don’t think the doctors will give you one.

Jonathan:  But the Holy Spirit can!

Overheard — Sound of Music Edition

Over the Christmas holiday, I watched “The Sound of Music” with the boys and Maddie one night.

First off let me say that Maddie was ENRAPTURED.  She could not look away.  I think she would have watched the whole thing if it weren’t so late.

Upon watching “I Am Sixteen Going On Seventeen,” the older boys covered their eyes and groaned about kissing.  Jonathan said, “Mom, I am going to watch the whole thing WITH KISSING.”  They all thought Leisl’s reaction was hilarious.  (Remember?  She walks to the door of the gazebo and goes, “WEEEE!”)

Perhaps their favorite moment of the whole movie was when the kids fall out of the boat while excitedly greeting the Captain.

And my personal favorite…
Maria is processing across the Abbey courtyard in her wedding gown and veil, followed by the sisters.

Jonathan turned to me and said, “Mom!  Look at all those black women!”.